Good Morning From Texas
Good morning to you from South Texas. Not a cloud in the - wait…
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure...– William Gibson (via raccoonology)
I did not kill a turtle this morning.
Let me know if you would like some context.
You know you're in trouble when...
…your child looks at you and says “Daddy, are these organic?”
Good Night Now
Fellow 1: "She is a young woman of some considerable experience."
Fellow 2: "What do you mean?"
Fellow 1: "She has been...in a number of relationships."
Fellow 2: "You mean she's the village bike?"
Fellow 1: "I'm afraid so."
Fellow 1: "I think she really likes me."
Fellow 2: "What gives you that idea?"
Fellow 1: "Did you see the way she looked at me before she told me to fuck off?"
I don’t know what is wrong with me: whenever I pass by the Hunan Delight Chinese Restaurant, I read the sign as “Human Delight”…
say what?: FUCK LAWYERS →
writewendy: I hate lawyers. I hate all lawyers. Wanna know why? Because lawyers are trained to twist words in order to bend rules. It’s a skill-set. And it’s a necessary one. Unfortunately. But, boiled down, these twists (or exceptions to exceptions to exceptions) eventually get so… Ah, Dick the butcher rides again… Hate is a pretty strong emotion…
Sweet words from the youngest offspring: “Would you please hand me that Calvin and Hobbes book over there?”