The Magic Time Machine restaurant in Dallas, Texas, does not, alas, contain a magic time machine. If it did, I would have taken advantage of it to go back in time to change my mind about eating there in the first place. Now, I do not own and operate any restaurants, so I am speaking here strictly from the perspective of a paying customer.
As themed restaurants go, this one had promise, at least for the kids: various characters from popular films and stories act as waiters, serving a variety of dishes in an entertaining manner. Like a time machine. Sort of. Anyway… It turns out that one has to wait 45 minutes to an hour to be seated. That can happen, sometimes. It also turns out that, after having Woody from Toy Story plug their number-one selling drink, it takes in the range of 45 minutes for meals to arrive. That can happen, too, sometimes.
In fairness, the menu did contain an item called the ‘Roman Orgy’, a dish consisting of several different kinds of meat and assorted bits and bobs. That can take a long time to put together. I understand. The amount of time it takes to prepare that kind of dish is about the same amount of time it takes to explain to the children, who have read the menu out loud for fun, just what a ‘Roman Orgy’ is.
But that’s not the best part. The best part is what happens when one of your party prefers vegetarian dishes (this can happen, sometimes, even in Texas). When a patron asks for vegetarian options, there is only the one: a vegetable platter. Sounds alright at first, but its arrival, much later, is astonishing. The vegetable platter is an eighteen-inch long platter, covered in a variety of sliced, raw vegetables. You’re still hanging in there, aren’t you, waiting to see just how good this thing can be? Some sliced, raw vegetables can be pretty good, even for us meativores, but this, thing…was an eighteen-inch long platter heaped with raw, sliced radishes, zucchini, broccoli (okay, that one might work), turnips (!), eggplant, garlic, leeks and yam. Raw. Tough sledding.
After all that, it takes another 45 minutes to wait for and pay the bill, notwithstanding a word or two with management. At the end of the day, the food was average and over-priced; and the wait unbearable. Management offered a coupon for a return visit, but we declined. I was left wondering if Disney’s legal department knows about this place: the wait staff was comprised of Snow White, Alice (in Wonderland), Woody, Captain Jack Sparrow, the Mad Hatter and other assorted types from various Disney films. Now, that’s a good question….
IN LIGHT OF THESE RECENT ECONOMIC EVENTS, THE STAFF OF A. POMEROY DAKOTA & COMPANY WOULD LIKE TO EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE TO THE FINE ORGANIZATIONS WHO MADE IT ALL POSSIBLE.
THE MEN AND WOMEN WHOSE CREDIT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, THE PEOPLE DRINKING YOUR POLLUTED WATER, BREATHING YOUR STALE AIR AND EATING YOUR CONTAMINATED FOODS WANT TO THANK YOU. BUT MOST OF ALL, WE HERE AT A. POMEROY DAKOTA WANT TO THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR YOUR CORPORATION.
THIS COMMEMORATIVE, LIMITED EDITION, HAND CARVED AND HAND PRINTED POSTER is dedicated, but not limited to:
MORTGAGE COMPANIES BANKING INSTITUTIONS INVESTMENT BANKS HEDGE FUNDS REAL ESTATE AGENTS APPRAISERS PONZI SCHEMERS THE AUTO INDUSTRY SUBPRIME LENDERS INSURANCE GIANTS CONGRESS THE FEDERAL RESERVE