August 2009
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July 2009
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“ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any infringement will result in you being killed to death.”
– Keith Wilson
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
– Douglas Adams
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“No, that isn’t “awesome”. It is merely interesting… “Awesome” would be pigs...”
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“Like, I didn’t think that was physically possible. You can do it, but it still...”
– overheard at Starbucks
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The Five Stages of Death
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Mother Tongue
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Lose Yourself in New York
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Do They Still Teach Orwell in High School English?
This just in, under the headline: Texas Senate Approves Freeway Spy Cameras….
In addition to red light cameras and photo radar cameras to catch speeders, these newly approved cameras would store a video image of the front passenger compartment and rear license plate of every single passing vehicle. Optical character recognition software identifies the registered vehicle owner and allows for easy...
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Norwegian Croc Critically Endangered
Earth’s largest living crocodilian—and, some say, the animal most likely to eat a human—is the saltwater or estuarine crocodile. Most commonly found in Northern Australia, population estimates range from 200,000 to 300,000, and they are considered at low risk for extinction.
A distant cousin to the species found in Australia, the Norwegian Crocodile...
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Expert Commentary
George Bernard Shaw said: “If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.”
Shakespeare really meant to say “economists” in Henry The Sixth, Part 2 Act 4 Scene 2 when Dick the butcher uttered: “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
The global economy is in turmoil: credit is almost non-existent, the stock markets have plunged, oil prices are low and...
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lam•poon (lām-pōōn’) n. a light, good-humored satire
Lampooning is indeed a very fine art requiring a sharp wit, a keen intellect and of course, a refined sense of humor. There are occasions, though, when it is made all too easy. A great example of such a case comes from Canadian comedian Rick Mercer in “Talking to Americans”.
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The Other Kind of Socialist
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“It was English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772 - 1834) who first hit upon the...”
Tricky Business
“Verily I say My Lord, ‘tis proof of withcraft!”, cried the Chamberlain.
To which His Majesty remarked: “Perhaps she’s just French?”
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Looking in the Mirror
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MyM&M’s Keyboard
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“Let’s see… I’m a 22 year old communications major at State and...”
– overheard at Starbucks
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And other dumb ideas, hippie.
Jon: Why can't you get apples from vending machines? Why does it have to be all junk food?
Me: Apples from vending machines? Why don't you just move to Russia?
Jon: What? I'm serious, Barnesy. Or, like, dried fruit? What about dried cranberries?
Me: Or how about patchouli oil, or maybe a volkswagen bus? Communist. Hippie. I can't believe I invited you hunting with me.
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“Inspiration, oh muse, where hast thou gone? I just seem to…oh, screw it…barley...”
– @baffled, soliloquy
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WatchKnight Fever, by Christopher Minos
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“You can’t help respecting those who can spell gnocchi; but spelling isn’t...”
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“Q:“Do you know what country he’s from?”
A: “I think he’s from Maryland.”
– Overheard at the local college
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Starbucks Encounter
Barista: "Can I interest you in a perfect pairing?"
Me: "I don't even know you."
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Sometimes it does take a Chef...
At a restaurant the other day and somebody orders mashed potatoes. The waitress says they are out of mashed potatoes but you could have a baked potato instead…. I guess the cook can’t figure out how to make mashed potatoes…..
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Big Mac
Photo: Satre Stuelke
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City of Glass
Perhaps my favorite non-fiction book.
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Rear Window
One can learn a lot from the collection of bumper stickers that adorn many vehicle rear windows in Texas.
One can, for instance, discern:
the vehicle owner’s alma mater,
the number and names of children and the sports they play,
the branch of the military they or their child(ren) serve(d) in,
which disease they are hoping to have cured,
the church to which they belong,
whether they think...
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“My cat has rather posh feet.”
– Overheard, at Starbucks
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Bad Chewie
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FMD Outbreak in Georgia
A variant of the Aphtae epizooticae virus was isolated last year in Georgia. The highly contagious variant, Aphtae paulbrounae, was discovered in one human case, and appears to have been limited only to Congressman Paul Broun (R-GA).
The average incubation period of the virus varies but is generally around three to eight days. The disease is characterized by high fever that declines rapidly...
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Love in the Time of H1N1 (2009)
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Separated at Birth
Were these two fine specimens separated at birth? You decide…
Mr. Magoo Senator John McCain
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Trouble with the Tea Party Set
I went to a Fourth of July parade, and something has been bugging me ever since. The parade had a marching band, baton twirlers and some soldiers. It also had something that gave me cause to take umbrage.
Perhaps the largest contingent in the parade was the local chapter of the Tea Party brigade. The group contained men and women, young and old, and children from about two to fifteen years of...
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Sunday School
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Analysts Hurting the Economy
A new Treasury Department agency is to be created to oversee, regulate and enforce minimum credential standards for financial analysts. Serious concerns have arisen over the devastating impact analysts have had on the national and global economies in recent months. Much market trading is based on the predictions of analysts. Studies have suggested that serious economic downturns correspond...
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Icefields
There are times in the barren deep freeze that is life
when things warm up a little and get a bit softer.
Hang on to those moments for as long as you can.
They pass all too quickly, and we are once again
consigned to the icefields…
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“We’re in a giant car heading towards a brick wall, and everyone’s arguing over...”
– David Suzuki, Canadian environmentalist, scientist and broadcaster
